Steve, Part II

I went to Steve's funeral on Saturday. Bruce and Durwin and drunk Paul from work were all there. Bruce gave me a hug and put his arm around me. I was glad that he was there because I'd told Boo that he didn't have to go and when I got half way to the church, I was sorry he wasn't with me.

Steve's sister sang an Indian burial song before the Mass started. It was really fitting because Steve just loved the outdoors. The song talked about being held up in the arms of the great oak and it was just perfect.

The Mass was nice. I'd never been to a Catholic funeral before. Their version of the Lords Prayer gets me every time. I always forget where their prayer leaves off. So they stopped and I kept going and I was all, "Doh!" But Steve would have gotten a kick out of it.

I met his son, Nate. He's in his mid 20s, but he looks about 16. I feel so bad for him because he has to take care of all this stuff on his own. I guess he told Chet that he wished he had an older brother to take care of all the stuff. But his mom is helping him. He seems like such a gentle soul, too - just like his dad. I also met Steve's brother. He was nice. And super tall. That was the largest gathering of tall, skinny people that I've ever seen.

I just feel so sad. It's weird - this is the first time I've felt sadness without guilt. And what do I do with this feeling? It's just strange.

Rest in peace, Steve. We'll miss you.