Catching Up

VENT WARNING
I am seriously annoyed. Ok, what's new? SIL has been having serious anxiety issues lately. She's called me a couple of times freaking out about her dog being sick (when in fact he wasn't). I understand that part. I really do. Even though I generally prefer to suffer silently or write about it here. Anyway, she's freaked out a couple of times and called me sobbing and I've talked to her until she calmed down. I told her about some Joan stuff that I do to chill out (like thinking about what the reality of the situation is, or not googling medical conditions and not watching the news - I can't do that stuff. I freak out. If there's something newsworthy, I know that Boo will let me know). She said that she thought she needed to talk to someone about it. I talked to Joan about her and she said that she'd ask around to see if there was someone in L's town.

About a month goes by, and L freaks out some more. We talk. She asks me if Joan suggested anyone (she hadn't). When I went to see Joan last week, we talked about it some more and decided that I'd pass her number on to L, but not tell L that she's my shrink. So I give L the number. They play phone tag for a couple of days. L seems excited that she's going to "get this shit handled." I feel better because hopefully she'll be able to deal with this on her own at some point (because I'm pissy and tired and not feeling well and don't want to deal with her crap right at this moment - and yes, I know that's sounds cold, but I'm just not up for it at the moment and L is really high maintenance, as a rule). And she's freaking out about taking drugs. Who says she needed drugs? Yes, I take a happy pill. I may or may not take it for the rest of my life. I don't know. I didn't want to take it at first. Joan and I talked about it for *months*. I finally broke down and talked to Dr H about it and she gave me something. I take a very small dose. And I'm ok with it. I feel normal. It hasn't made my numb. It hasn't done anything weird to me. I still get happy and I still get sad and I still feel everything everyone else feels. I'm just not completely, totally, devastatingly sad all the time any more. So sue me. Oh, and to top it off, L tells me that she told their mom (my MIL) that she was going to talk to someone and MIL freaked and told her not to go. She didn't need to talk to anyone because it's not going to help. Because, Linda, avoiding shit and freaking out has always worked out so well for you, hasn't it? Because your two youngest kids (who both mean a lot to me) are so nervous and upset that it's not even funny. But I digress. So while her hubby and I are extremely supportive of her talking to a therapist, her mother, whose opinion matters more than anyone's, is overruling the whole thing.

Last night I get an e-mail from L asking me to call Joan and see if she could recommend someone else because she needs someone with Saturday hours. Then she says, "Or I could call my friend, Shelly - she's a psychologist."

It has all just rubbed me the wrong way. If you needed Saturday hours, you should have told me that in the first place. You seemed so desperate to get help, I just assumed (and shame on me for that) that you might ask your mom or dad to watch V while you were gone for two hours. Oh, but what was I thinking? Your mom doesn't think you should get help, so why would you ask her to help you out. Second, I spend the last two weeks worried about getting you help (which I realize is *my* deal)and you casually mention that you have a friend who's a shrink? Maybe it's just me, but if I was so upset, I would probably ask my friend THE SHRINK for a referral. I got a referral for Joan from Jen - and she's as good as a mental health professional. WTF? I'm tired. I'm annoyed. I don't feel well. I should just chill. I'm not answering her e-mail right now.

I guess the bottom line is that I assumed (again, shame on me) that she'd follow through with this. She's so miserable and I really feel bad for her. I know how that feels. Only I didn't have two little kids to take care of when I felt so bad. I know how it feels to have to watch over *everything* to make sure that nothing bad is happening and to constantly worry that someone is going to die. It sucks and it's draining and depressing. I know that. I need to be patient. I need to remember that L has always needed some hand-holding. Breathe, breathe, breathe...

END VENT.

Check out my horoscope for today (bolded part is mine):
Someone for whom you have a soft spot is putting you to the test right now. You have a lot of patience, and they are all too aware of it. It's not that they are taking advantage of you, it's just that they are not taking your deadline requests seriously enough. If they keep stalling for time, pressing them to hurry up could only trigger a power play, so be careful. You don't want to make them think that they're not meeting your expectations. Just keep waiting.

Hmmmmm. Weird.